2 Mar 2013

Whatever you do, you're always you

It's tempting to try and change yourself. Now if that's to be a bit more patient, or more fit or healthy then sure, nothing wrong with that. But trying to change crucial parts of yourself because you think it'll be a better way to do things, or people will like it better, then I think you'll have trouble pulling it off.

We all still delude ourselves that its possible to alter our characters, but our essential self still comes out - it's too strong! We know this because people tell us. We might think, "I don't really have a style" but then our friends will see something and say "Oh that's so you!" and they're right. So how come they know and we don't? Are we too close to ourselves to be able to be objective? Are we always just trying to emulate others we admire? Whatever the reason, I think we're often the last people to know ourselves. Which is weird really.

If you have good people around you and you are loved, then being unable to be anyone else but yourself is actually quite liberating. There's a certain inevitability about things. Your patterns of who you choose for friends, your level of intelligence, your style of dressing, your taste in music - it's all just, you.

And I can tell you, it's liberating when you're 'fat-with-first-child' thinking, "God I hope I don't mess this kid up" because in the end, you're going to parent exactly how you are as a person, no matter what. You'll react to things how you always react. You'll be patient sometimes and lose it completely at other times. You'll be a cuddly parent, or you won't. Some mums may sing to their babies, some would rather talk or read. And, as a friend pointed out to me today, your baby comes with their own essential self too. So they're going to be who they are as well. In fact, babies are the best at being themselves as they simply don't know any different way to be.

So relax I say. Do what you like doing. We can always improve our health or be kinder or more helpful to others, but essentially we are going to be just who we always were. Warts and all.

Es ♥

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